Yosemite, part 2.

Since I didn't carry a camera with me on my ridiculously long run this weekend, and since you probably don't want pictures of the other things I did (clean the apartment, work), I'll do a more in depth description of our Yosemite trip.

Bridalveil Falls

Day 1: It was the first time Elliott and I had ever been to the park, so our primary to-do was hiking Half Dome. We stopped fill up at our last opportunity gas station just outside the park around 11am. Bear sighting number 1. I had been freaking out about the bears the entire week leading up to the trip after the Yellowstone incident. So to my surprise, what I really wanted to do when I saw this bear was give him/her (don't know how you tell) a big hug. Several people noticed the bear - I mean, it was walking straight toward the cars - and all looked awestruck. Then, out of nowhere, a gas station employee starts running toward the bear, screaming for it to go away and waving his fist in the air. Lesson number 1: This actually works.

Gigantic pine cone

When we enter the park, the plan is to drive around to a few campsites to find an open spot. Lesson number 2: If you go to Yosemite in August, make reservations. After spending the better part of 5 hours driving around the park trying to figure out where we're going to spend the night - including at the Ahwahnee (they laughed at us) - we give up. We head just outside the park and set up camp at a day use picnic area on the Merced River. Illegal. No bigs. This is the one and only time I will be thankful that CA is in a budget crisis and can't pay a forest service enforcer to kick us out of the. only. place. left. to. camp. Amazingly, the other half of the group finds us at midnight when they arrive.

Illegal campsite #1

Day 2: We're up at 5:30 to break down camp and head back into the park. As we're driving in, I remind Elliott to slow down a bit after seeing warning signs everywhere about how many bears are killed by speeding cars in the park. Not two seconds later - bear sighting 2 & 3. A mama and little cub scurry across the road just in front of our car. Again, I want to hug them. After futzing around for a bit with breakfast, I call my mom before we start the hike. "We've seen 3 bears already!" "Oh, shit!" "No, it's cool, you just start charging them and screaming at them, and they run off." "No, Ashley. That's not right. THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT."

John Muir trail

Around 8am, we start what is likely the coolest hike I've ever done. If you go to Yosemite, spend one day doing the 17 mile Half Dome hike. It will blow your mind. About half way to the top, we have bear sighting number 4. This is when all cockiness goes out the window, and my fear of bears returns with a vengeance. Although I still think the bear is cute, I start getting angry at the hikers in front of us who are getting closer and closer, trying to get the perfect bear photo. I want to throw a rock at these people. Why are they not screaming and charging the bear? Elliott tells me to chill out, and we continue on the trail unharmed.

Half Dome (See that faint line in the middle? That's what you're supposed to walk up.)

We get to the bottom of Sub Dome, and a ranger asks us for the permits we don't have. Within 10 minutes, we've secured 7 permits from other hikers that will allow us to go to the top of Half Dome. Lesson number 3: Don't believe people when they tell you it's necessary to secure a permit before you arrive. Midway up Sub Dome, I start feeling uneasy. There's no path anymore. We are just walking up the side of a gigantic rock. Lesson number 4: Holy crap, I'm afraid of heights. So when we reach the top of Sub Dome, and I see the two shaky cables, which are apparently supposed to provide a sufficiently safe way to scale the side of a rock wall, I make a command decision that the view from Sub Dome is the same as the view from Half Dome. People die on those cables. No, thank you. I wish the others luck and look up every few minutes to be sure one of them isn't tumbling down the side of the rock. (They all made it.)

Cables. No, thank you.

Ok, fast forward to when we find ourselves back at the trailhead around 7pm without a place to stay for the night. Lesson number 5: See Lesson number 2. After calling every hotel in the vicinity, it becomes clear that illegal camping is in our future again. We grab dinner at the Evergreen Lodge and witness a wedding reception rave. They literally have glow sticks. Too tired for this. After dinner, we drive to the closest forest service campground and ignore the sign that says "campground full." We set up camp in a site that says reserved, but who shows up at 11pm to set up camp?

Sunset, post-hike

Day 3: At about 2:30am, I wake up to a loud crashing noise that will not quit. Duh, bear trying to get into the dumpsters adjacent to our site. Bear 'sighting' number 5. I wake Elliott up and convince him to wake everyone else up so we can have a game plan if the bear heads to our site. We listen from our tents as the bear systematically moves to every dumpster in the camp, trying unsuccessfully to get a late night snack. The plan is to make noise if it comes close. But when something comes close, it doesn't sound like a bear, it sounds like an insane axe murderer. Lesson number 6: Hungry bears sound like axe murderers?

There's a lot of tired discussion. Is it safe to sleep in the tents? Do we sleep in the car? That's a quick no: the car-top carrier is full of food. I reluctantly go back to the tent knowing that I won't sleep a bit the rest of the night. An hour later we hear what honestly sounds like a poor bear being attacked. It's a terrible noise. And it's getting closer to us. Ok, that's it. We're leaving. At 3:30 in the morning. As we pull in to a station to get gas before heading back to San Francisco, the trash cans are all overturned, and there is garbage literally everywhere. It becomes clear that bears leave no trash can unturned in Yosemite.

Despite the one axe murderer sounding bear, I will definitely be back. Standing in Yosemite Valley surrounded by granite slabs that seem to spring up from out of nowhere is a completely unique experience. As is standing on top of one of those slabs. On top of that, I've never seen more stars in the night sky. Ever.